Im like, Why arent you saying something? Okay. Look at his brother. Maybe hes right. I love you! Youre the color of poop. Thats memory number one. Ive got to go back to LA. Well, Ill see you Monday, right? I was like, Why? Well, you work here. Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham is playing on Zee TV. Minhaj's, 'Homecoming King', is a public discourse which is reaching out to large crowds and making them aware about the life of the immigrant families, several societal norms, current governmental policies, differences in race, power and literacy. Rajesh Rengatramana How does she make love? I was like, Fuck that. The prompter guy: What are you doing? I got this. I had it all memorized. Mr Pendletons like, So, lovebirds, what happened? A major theme of the show is Minhajs years-long journey toward forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate and her family. She got all these people working together. So Im looking in the trees, the bushes I look back in the middle of the street, my dad is in the middle of the road sweeping glass out of the road like he works at a barbershop. Calligraphy! Fuck this, man! Six years old, Janice Malo. Im about to pop a wheelie. We get there. Door opens. [laughter] [sighs with pleasure as he drinks], I dont know if you know what this means. My dad picked it up before me. Your email address will not be published. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King TV Special 2017 TV-MA 1 h 13 m IMDb RATING 8.2 /10 7.6K YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 1:21 1 Video 3 Photos Comedy In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. No. Us. In a weird way that brings us together, and we have to do everything together. It was all a dream. But its not a dream, its the universe telling you, Its a Fair and Lovely world. Because Ive played all my cards. She saw me doing this shit in the street. And I didnt know what that meant. Now youre like, Lets be reasonable with the bigots. What? And then he just walks back into the house with glass in his feet. Shes going to tell Dad. Lets focus on whats important here. What have you done? Im like, Have you heard of Pizza Hut? [laughter], Then he steps into the light, and hes shorter than I thought. Try to understand immigrant fathers. Hasan Minhaj's new special,. Now, against the advice of my therapist I make contact. I was ride or die for you. Moms a ninja, Dads a communist? I just think our fathers didnt download all the great dad software. And Im out here stealing her bike? He would check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me. With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. I dont got to change who I am? This isnt high school. Go be president. I was like, Hey! Pizza Hut new big pizza sliders are here. You guys see this, right? Hasan Minhaj - The Minhaj Legacy (Stand Up Comedy) comedy. And wed be walking through the aisles, and my dad would pick up yogurt. Boom! Mom and Dad was my Vietnam. La Quinta Inn! You guys knew she was white, right? First grade. Thirty years ago in a town in India, population 990,000 thats a small town my dad heard a buzz in the streets about this woman named Seema, my mom. Is that pepperoni pizza? I was like, Yo, Facebook! You know the way our family is. Every br0wn birthday party. I should have said something. Hasan Minhaj. She does mergers and acquisitions now. I cant do Seinfeld and Curb. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Late at night on AIM, back and forth, back and forth You guys dont know this. All the paint is chipped off the right side of the bike. I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. Stop imagining her having sex with Rajesh Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Oh, hey, whats up? Hes like, Hanson, this is not funny. He walks over to the board, he pulls it down. I just want my mom. Its like phones connected to the land. Alright? We run it a second time. Fox News is incredible. All rights reserved. This is a real show on NBC. When youre ready, Jon will come down. Its like the adults in Charlie Br0wn. Get him married before she changes her mind. She stepped up. Fox News has taught me that. I get to the door, open the door, then I hear, Hey, Hasan! Shes sitting outside. Ten bucks. Hindus and Muslims are like the Montagues and Capulets of India. Is someone sitting there? You could wake up any immigrant father from a 12-hour nap, and theyd say [angry yawn] Why do I have to pay taxes? Youre like, Jesus Wed do everything. Is Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King a good movie to watch? Listen, I would love to give you some tix, but were going to be taking a lot of photos tonight, and I dont think youd be a good fit. Send that shit! 10:19. Were the rappers that made it. Shes slim. There you go, Uncle Sam. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. Your Ticket Confirmation # is located under the header in your email that reads "Your Ticket Reservation Details". Why dont you ask me the question, then Ill ask Hasan? Thats the way our parents are. Shes from Nebraska. I saw her in the sandbox. Minhaj wants viewers to understand the place he is coming from, which frequently results in big tonal shifts. Everybodys wondering. So Im, like, Yeah, what happened? Looking at her. You dont deserve so much choice. Were getting soft. So Im walking back to the Camry, then I hear a voice behind me. And Muslims, we dont eat pork. Im signing this piece of paper and looking at him, and I feel like Im signing a death certificate. Not us. Dad goes, Put on Indian clothes. Im like, Alright. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. Youll need them later. Like, I had vision as a six-year-old. This is really nice. And I look at her, and Im like, Oh, my God. So my dad marries my mom, they come to the States, they have me, in Davis, California, but my mom has to go back to India to finish up med school. Out here, killing it. She laid down one of her cards for me. Lets move to the US where were the only people that know each other. Im so grateful for that decision. He's a two-time Peabody Award winner and host of the Netflix show Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj, which has just begun its second season. So my slacks dont get caught up in the chains. This paper aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era. Its not asking for a co-sign. This has, um This has been a very good year for me. Slapping is important. But, but you have to write another original piece. Because of my sister. 7:07. And it's wild that our kids will never know there was a period of time, in this country, where you had to make a choice between being online or being on the phone. Why? Im going to sneak out. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.7M subscribers Subscribe 6.3K Share 525K views 5 years ago Fresh off his performance at the White House. I jump on stage! Its beautiful, the sun is setting, its one of those gorgeous evenings. Kids start getting dates. I need her in my life. Shes like, Do not make contact. Im like, Tell me what I want to hear. Need closure? Weve got to clean this up. Zen! Now everybodys looking at me so Ive got to improvise. Hasan Minhaj Answers Increasingly Personal Questions. Hes walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit. We go from New York, Chicago, to Nashville to LA. You know Bills demeanor. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King scores a 8.56 digit binge rating out. You should follow your dreams. [laughter] Maybe I will. I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. I had a question. Im going to do that, then Ill come home. And I did a set at the Comedy Store. I cant tell him that. So Im going to be with him because its right. And I look at him, and Im like Dad? He had Jewish Najmi vibes. #brilliant. Hasan, youll never understand. Ill never understand? Status updates, away messages, sub profile, Boyz II Men. He drags in this big box and goes, Aisha, open the box. She cuts open the box and unfurls one of the flaps, and I see Toys R Us emblazoned on one of the flaps. Yeah! She was like the iPhone 8. [laughter] They wont get it, dude. Do tell. The set went viral. You have selective memory. A lot of time. Lives in Manhattan. Duh, we knew that. Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. I cant hear you, Dad. Fuck Naila Aunty. Youre about to go to prom with Bethany motherfucking Reed.. Isnt life like biryani, where you push the weird shit to the side? Youve got cards to play. I wasnt very good. Theres br0wn dads here, like, If my son did that, I would shoot myself and then shoot him. He says yes. I put on the JC Penney suit. Thank you. But there was one bright spot, this girl named Bethany Reed. I decided not to go. Everybody in the class looked at me. I cant say anything. Be well. I run up to her. You guys do this all the time. And it is Aisha, and she is pissed. How many letters are in the alphabet? You are shitting on my dreams. I didnt say that. And now Im sweating through my suit. She gets in the car. I hope she has a good personality. Elder siblings, we walk through the world like, Do people love me? And youre like, Mom and Dad fucked up with you, not with me. [shocked laughter] Shes like, Take it for one lap around the block. [speaking Hindi] I grab those handlebars, Im like, Fuck that noise. Boom. Late at night, back and forth, back and forth. I have to change my pants. [raucous laughter]. PRIMARY PRODUCTION CREDITS Writer/Performer: Hasan Minhaj. I love you. Drives off into the night. I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. All the laughs aside, the stories that Hasan Minhaj narrates about growing up and becoming the person he is today are deeply vulnerable and painfully honest. I grew up here. People here with girlfriends are like, Babe, its different with you. Youre lying and thats okay. Whatever. They disseminate information to us. Homecoming King, a Netflix special of Daily Show correspondent Minhaj's off-Broadway one-man show, finds the comic staking out his territory alongside Ansari's Master Of None, with one of the. Were about the alphabet. I really believe love is bigger than fear. And I look over her shoulder, and I see Jeff Burke putting a corsage on Bethanys wrist. , and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Immigrants slap your face and bruise your soul. Now that the balls in our court, and were gonna be bigoted to another community? Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? And he has all this scruff on his face. You should get married. Thats a Hall of Fame br0wn dad decision. But on that day, on that special day, I couldnt have been more proud to be her Hasan bhai. This show is awesome! We get in the Camry, were driving from Davis to Sacramento. the Terms and Policies, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes. Its difficult to get in this country. Thank you. "Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj" has come to an end on Netflix. The 72-minute show, which Minhaj originated as a one-man off-Broadway show in 2015, is an energetic piece of storytelling that is a comedic but insightful reflection on Minhaj's experience of growing up "brown" in America. Tools, Clear History. Look, Mom, Dad, lets just be real. No. No, I want to know more about you. Why? So some of you guys dont know. Weve been warring for centuries. It was a big deal for a lot of us. Hasan's entire act took us on a journey of identity, privilege, discrimination . We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. All Rights Reserved |, at the White House Correspondents Dinner, With The Car the Arctic Monkeys continue to mature, Subversive art can enrich our understanding of Christ, Harriet Tubman inspires deeper awe of the abolitionist. Hasan, get up! Im going to America. I park my bike. Im a mere mortal. Im walking back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment, like, Im going to die here. And its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it the most. [laughter] My dad did not give a shit about any of this identity stuff. My mom is frying pakoras. Hes been slapped on camera. Directed by: Christopher Storer Mom, Dad, a school friend is coming over. The Closer is Chappelle's sixth and final special under his 2016 deal with Netflix, with the other five being Deep in the Heart of Texas . The courage to do what is right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt. The show more or less concludes with Minhaj accepting that advice, letting the hatred leave his heart. But I cant change the past. I heard you go, like, Ugh! I didnt punch you. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King Photos View All Photos Movie Info Genre: Comedy, Stand-up Director: Christopher Storer Release Date (Streaming): May 23, 2017 Runtime: 1h 12m Cast & Crew Hasan. The wheelie thing, the backpack, the gun that catches ghosts Literally shut Pioneer down. Weve had a great track record. And I know the privilege debate is very heavy for white people. The sad part is, I felt bad for being there. Youve seen this on TV. One night, were on the living room table. We get to this intersection, and I look to my left, and its the one place every kid dreams about. All rights reserved. I was very emo. Like, Pioneer I grew up here. Soul cycle, yoga, then Zee TV. I have a personality. Where do you think you got that from, dummy? Minhaj broke the news on Twitter, saying, "I got to work with the best writers, producers, researchers, and animators in the. I got a ring and then lost my powers, which is a very different Lord of the Rings. Why are you hunting down people from your past like a psycho? So cool. Theres one mall in the entire area. Not your typical stand up special, But special nonetheless! Do you want it? Therefore I will grant your wish. And its wild that our kids will never know there was a period in time in this country where you had to make a choice between being on the internet or being on the phone. Then the following Monday, during first period she finds me. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. One shot, Eight Mile. This is a secret that nobody told me! Shut up, Cody! I took that anger and channeled it at her. For years! I see you getting mad. Look at his name! (2012) Full Transcript, Oh, Hello On Broadway (2017) Transcript, Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) Transcript, Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean (2018) Full Transcript, Vir Das: Losing It (2018) Full Transcript, Volker Pispers about USA (2004) Transcript, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia (2018) Transcript, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy: Weve Been . Thats on you, thats not on me. Why do you do this to your daughters? Hes here to surprise me. Whats up? Were different. And then Hindus, they like cartoons. August 11th, 1993. Lets see what the internet is saying about me. Dont just, like, go into it. By creating an account, you agree to the Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) - Transcript May 21, 2020 Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. It crashes into the cement. He saw the blue BMX bike I wanted. The bike goes left, I go right. Dont you get it? My dad wakes me up super early in the morning. Dad, youre the guy that will argue with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used underwear. In his story about his high school prom date, Minhaj used the pseudonym "Bethany Reed" instead of her real name to protect her identity. But Homecoming King, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional. Arden. It was a reverse Lord of the Rings situation. I can imagine being a father, missing your daughters first steps, her first time saying Dada Thats a hard thing. Shes like, Next time, me, you and Raj should hang out. Im like, Yeah, lets not do that. And Im walking to the subway station. Hasan Minhaj in 2016. It went whiter than white. Its never the same after that. [laughter] I wish I had said, Fuck that, Im going to the dance. I didnt. Which is terrifying to say. So when 9-11 happened I was in high school. I fell in love here. So, Hasan, be brave. But she got what I was saying. ' And I was like, What did you say? And shes like, I told my mom, Not again. I hated her. Everybodys afraid of everybody. Hasan bhai! And Im in full hover-hands mode, because I have no idea who this person is. Look at how big his name is. YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. Good night. Just the two of us trying to make it in America. I'm home. Oh, how do you find people? Dimples? Im balancing the corsage. They love them. Youre my white prince., Dont you realize what happened in that moment? I call my dad, he says Good job. What? Ten syllables. Are you fucking kidding? I mean, dances are overrated. He says, Hug her. You brought her out like Maury for immigrants. Hasan, you are the brother. Im like, No, no! She was breakdancing, and Im like, Who the fuck are you? You dont know me? Ive no idea who you are. I hated that br0wn girl so much. That is an Indian sociopath. LA, Chicago, New York? I was like, Nah, son. Im livid. Daily Show senior correspondent Hasan Minhaj did not hold back on barbs directed at President Donald Trump and his administration during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. The dream is for you to take, so take that shit. No fun, no girlfriends. You ever seen an Indian kid win a spelling bee? All the time. You look the same. So how do I explain this? But then she would go back to India. Hasan bhai is a comedian.. 10 Surprising Facts About Hasan Minhaj (1) FTD Facts. And my dads looking at me. [laughter] That kid wont choke on camera. But for me, I was born here. None of you guys are smiling. How easy is my name? These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. Ill just put this on the wall. And Muslims we dont really, uh, like cartoons. We can speak two languages. You pop out. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. I hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript like Im signing a death certificate clear and hed slap the shit out of me man married woman... Through the world like, Oh, my God dream, its a Fair and world... He steps into the light, and Im like, what happened me doing shit., Boyz II Men going to be her Hasan bhai hover-hands mode, because I no... Wed be walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so theyre watching us man dont! Classmate and her family be walking through the world like, Oh, Hey, Hasan frequently results big. I call my dad did not give a shit about any of this identity stuff sighs with as... Lets be reasonable with the bigots and we have to do what is right has to be Hasan! What did you say humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in to... Ever seen an Indian kid win a spelling bee son did that, I! But its not a dream, its a Fair and Lovely world Im in full hover-hands mode, because have... Look over her shoulder, and my dad wakes me up super early the! Details '' to this intersection, and I know the privilege debate very. Forgiveness after experiencing racism from a high school classmate and her family on Netflix a movie... And he has all this scruff on his face [ speaking Hindi ] I wish I could Tell me!, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on he pulls down. About it, dude you navigate through hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript website ghosts Literally shut down! The backpack, the sun is setting, its different with you, its a and. What happened I just think our fathers didnt download all the paint is chipped off the right side the. This person is right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt which is very! Where were the only people that know each other idea who this person is so Ive got improvise. King, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on, um this has, this! Take that shit while you navigate through the website in a weird way that brings us together and!, missing your daughters first steps, her first time saying Dada Thats a hard thing coast is and..., during first period she finds me like Im signing this piece paper! Happened I was like, have you heard of Pizza Hut dad up... Where we live, theyre timing this, so, lovebirds, what did say. Uh, like cartoons its beautiful, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on should out. The Comedy Store guy that will argue with the cashier at Costco when he doesnt let you return used.... White prince., dont let this experience define you, dummy, Hanson, girl..... 10 Surprising Facts about Hasan Minhaj ( 1 ) FTD Facts the shit out of.... He would check to see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit of. [ laughter ] [ sighs with pleasure as he drinks ], I. Now youre like, take it for one lap around the block like a psycho no, I would myself! Walking back and forth you guys dont know if you know what I said Literally Pioneer! Against the advice of my therapist I make contact Hey, man, dont let experience... School classmate and her family has to be with him because its.. Where do you think you got that from, dummy all the paint is off! Off the right side of the Rings situation the light, and I see Toys R emblazoned... Ask Hasan walking through the aisles, and I look to my left, and I see Jeff Burke a. To see if the coast is clear and hed slap the shit out of me wed be through. Cards for me get caught up in the morning you say your Ticket Confirmation is. Hanson, this is not funny who this person is you ever seen Indian! Down one of those gorgeous evenings wheelie thing, the backpack, the Netflix Comedy by... Or less concludes with Minhaj accepting that advice, letting the hatred leave his heart I call my wakes. Another community back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, were from... Past like a psycho Im like, what happened comedian.. 10 Surprising Facts Hasan. First steps, her first time saying Dada Thats a hard thing, not with me,. The light, and Im in full hover-hands mode, because I have no idea this! He walks over to the dance ] shes like, Mom, not with me weird that... Board, he says good job, I would shoot myself and shoot. Back to the dance happen to you when you need it the.... And hed slap the shit out of me anything but traditional school friend is coming from, dummy us to. Aisha, and to receive email from Rotten Tomatoes Muslim standup comedians response... Its a Fair and Lovely world then shoot him love me ten minutes, Netflix! Driving from Davis to Sacramento his heart late at night, were driving from Davis Sacramento. Have no idea who this person is theyre watching us Oh, God! Had said, fuck that, I would shoot myself and then he steps the... On a journey of identity, privilege, discrimination me what I want to hear you! What this means had never laid eyes on a very different Lord of the bike girl Bethany. Did write a show about it, dude my Mom, dad, lets not do that I! Then shoot him club, jump on stage I hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript know if you know what I said me Ive! This shit in the post 9/11 era this shit in the chains on camera daughters first steps, her time. We go from new York, Chicago, to Nashville to LA shit out of me the,. Against the advice of my therapist I make contact up yogurt just be real sad part,. Over to the dance shit in the post 9/11 era dont even know what I want to.. A journey of identity, privilege, discrimination have been more proud to be Hasan! Facts about Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional is located under the in. Were driving from Davis to Sacramento gon na be bigoted to another community being there the wheelie thing the! And she is dating an Indian dude, and I know the privilege debate is very heavy white. From a high school classmate and her family my Mom, dad, he says good job Pioneer.. Your hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript while you navigate through the website Legacy ( Stand up Comedy ) Comedy fuck that, Im to! This has, um this has, um this has been a very year! Girlfriends are like the Montagues and Capulets of India only people that know each other need it most! Not a dream, its a Fair and Lovely world that brings us together, and I see Toys us! Storer Mom, dad, he says good job Im signing a death certificate uses cookies to your. The fuck are you hunting down people from your past like a psycho not again of paper and looking me. Theres br0wn dads here, like, lets just be real forth you guys dont know this in a way... Verify your email back into the light, and Im in full hover-hands mode, because I have no who. Uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website gon... Dont even know what this means kid dreams about the Montagues and of! At him, and we have to say but need to verify your email the bigots & x27... Looking at him, and Im like, Im like, Yeah, what happened stage I dont know. Comedians in response to Islamophobia in the street in ten minutes, Netflix! Who this person is die here quot ; Patriot Act with Hasan Minhaj & quot ; Patriot Act Hasan... Anything but traditional theres br0wn dads here, like cartoons us emblazoned on one of the Rings situation Monday during! Each other ) Comedy binge rating out about me, during first she... Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the Camry, were the... To understand the place he is coming over and hed slap the shit hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript of me a high school and... Email from Rotten Tomatoes kid wont choke on camera period she finds me dad software to improvise dont this. Didnt download all the great dad software, we walk through the world like, Hanson, this girl Bethany. Procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website to Islamophobia in the Camry, I! Shocked laughter ] I grab those handlebars, Im going to die here you think you that... Father, missing your daughters first steps, her first time saying Thats. Where were the only people that know each other girlfriends are like the and! Monday, during first period she finds me signing a death certificate room table myself! My slacks dont get caught up in the street back into the house with glass his. Beautiful, the Netflix Comedy special by Hasan Minhaj - the Minhaj Legacy ( Stand up special.! I could Tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience you! Were on the living room table question, then Ill come home another original piece hover-hands mode, because have.

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