- Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images). In that sense, there is symmetry to their roles. Maybe Im missing the brilliant revelations that have helped him build this empire. I ask questions like, Is it really fair that I have to put up with this kind of abuse over and over?, I ask, Is this really the best she can do?, I ask, Is it always going to be like this.. Four. What men can do to rebuild their testosterone levels including some alone time. These differences are reflected in our biology: our hormones and brain chemistry. In the next post, I am going to show you what happens when I actually act on those sentiments, rather than just asking them abstractly. If you look at a guy like Al Gore, if you see how overweight he is, all of that belly fat generates estrogen. John Gray: No. For men, anytime they do something difficult. Yet, if they meet someone new and different it is easy to get it back temporarily, because new and different is a lot of challenge which stimulates dopamine, which in turn stimulates testosterone. Maybe I am mad that you want so much more than me. So Bonnie need not respond by saying Youre not listening or You just dont understand., She can say, Let me try saying that in a different way.. John Gray: My book is to help women get underneath the surface and find out the physiology of what is really making them tick, how they can support themselves the best, and how their husbands can support them the best. Men are great problem solvers. How can you not if you feel that [men and women] are the same? I got the news, on my honeymoon, that my father had died. We dont seem to be able to enjoy that same female camaraderie that women did decades ago, like at the turn of the twentieth century. According to John Gray, PhD, relationships expert and author and creator of the Mars and Venus franchise, the answer is yes. dr john gray wife, bonnie 27 Feb. dr john gray wife, bonnie I want to poke just a little today at the way John and Bonnie Gray illustrate what communication between a husband and a wife ought to look like. PR.com: So oxytocin is our version of testosterone. You're not seen as a big, powerful hero at that time. Men need high testosterone. Bonnie is Johns wife and in his books, she needs to act in ways that allow him to model how husbands should respond when their wives seem petulant and unreasonable. People kept saying, You have to write this in a book. Finally, I put it down in a book after about eight years of teaching and called it, Men, Women and Relationships. And is it really irrational to do first the only thing you can do firstthis is from Bonnie Grays point of viewand so, clear the way to do what can, after all, be done second? John Gray: A lot of these ideas I put forth are very counter-therapy. Women need caring, understanding, respect, and reassurance. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. He was an Associate Pastor to Dr. John MacArthur at Grace Community Church for five years overseeing the Shepherding Ministries. All rights reserved. Poor lifestyle habits, poor eating habits, high stress levels, not coping well with stress. The next four exchanges are presented as a block. They have three grown daughters and three grandchildren. In that sense, there is symmetry to their roles. Nobody has done that study yet, but Ive done it in my own anecdotal research. When I do what John Gray says to do, everything works out really well. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. Ive seen again and again women who would come to my five day courses in retreat centers and they would just love it. Just the fact that I could talk about my feelings without you getting upset with me makes me feel so loved. What has changed for Dr. John since his first interview on Wellness Force. WebHe is a recipient of the coveted the Smart Marriages Impact Award. If you want him to become more sensitive, he needs to hear your feelings. WebIn hardcover, it was the #1 bestselling book of the 1990s. John Grays seventeenth book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice is currently in bookstores nationwide, including Barnes & Noble, and available at Amazon.com book and PBS Special DVD combo. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. Please read our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy carefully, by using our Website, you agree that you have read and consented to our Terms of Use. The problem is that she has feelings that prevent her from having a fact-based conversation about the computer and other household needs. Within a few years men were buying as many [copies] as women, once word caught on that this book is very supportive of men as well as women. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. Collect, curate and comment on your files. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. Did you know that heart break can lead to heart disease? This guy has a problem because guys wont want to hang out with him, and girls will be like friends to him, but they are never going to want to have a relationship with him. How much is this computer going to cost? When the kids were little I told Bonnie, Every Monday, thats your day off. Just a note here to clarify my position on the Mars & Venus books. And I didnt know that much of my behavior over the past year has been a desperate attempt to rebuild oxytocin. HealCircle is a platform for doctors to offer actionable affordable health programs. That is the formula for healthy relationships. Women before menopause require 10 times more estrogen than men. Save 10% off all orders: Use discount coupon code WELLNESSFORCE at checkout. Why giving a woman 4 hugs a day will help keep their estrogen in regular supply and increase. She didnt hear what I said about the accident on the road or how close I was to being involved in it very directly and had she heard, she wouldnt have cared. dr john gray wife, bonnie dr john gray wife, bonnie. I have two different mens groups that I am a part of. . Required fields are marked *. The importance of doing a lot of little things for your female partner to help build their estrogen back up. PR.com: What creates that disinterest as time goes on? Required fields are marked *. (LogOut/ You just go away for a day and do things that you love to do, and if you want you can give me a call, and Ill get a babysitter and come visit you at a hotel room., John Gray: It was a very sweet time of our lives and I remember it very clearly. The power of listening and telling your partner, Help me understand that better, when they're emotional and, Why the only way to grow is to get out of your, Why a man's testosterone will actually go up when he listens to and helps his partner release and, The four emotions that will both release negativity very quickly and raise. It suddenly gave me more interest in her, it made me more motivated. Spiritual growth can only occur when you become aware of that, feel it, and know it. John Gray was taken to hospital after suffering a Saddle pulmonary embolism - a blockage of the pulmonary arteries in the lungs. Ive been speaking, teaching, and coaching all over the world for 40 years. Since Johns responsibility is to duck and dodge, you will not be surprised to learn that Bonnies are to pause and prepare. Women come naturally to this role because while the caveman husband was off fighting enemiesthats where the ducking and dodging came from, rememberthe cavewoman is home preparing. When I went to Harper Collins and published Men Are From Mars they said, Why dont you [now] write primarily for women because mostly women buy these books. I said, No. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. PR.com: You hold all of this knowledge, but in your own marriage do you and your wife ever slip into some of the bad patterns that most others do? You mentioned that for some couples when the sex drive goes away there is anger about that, but for some couples there is actually a peacefulness that sets in when the sex drive is gone. That was most of their day, and that is what brought them their fulfillment and then the guy was whip cream. Goodbye, bickering. On a certain level, when a guy stops having sex or when he doesnt want sex, he doesnt want it, so he doesnt miss it. Learning how to deal with stress is the key to heart health. If your stress level increases it can create a tear leading to heart attack. Like, for instance, being from Venus? Gray says that there are serious main and side effects to making them act like they are from Mars. I take my cave time and she takes time to talk about things. And why are levels of infertility skyrocketing in women, while sexual virility is now rapidly declining in men as they reach middle age? WebHe has served on the Faculty of the Masters College & Seminary. We are no longer limited by the traditional roles of hunter/gatherer or breadwinner/homemaker. Dr. Grays books are translated into approximately 45 languages in more than 100 countries and continues to be a bestseller. John Gray: In my personal life, I had been married to Bonnie (Grays wife of twenty-five years) for seven years, we had a family and we lived very happily together. Click here for our founders Free Health Journal. When something seems amiss, and someone is acting irrationally, you should immediately try to get to the source of the problem, rather than reacting to the symptoms. PR.com: Even when your kids were really little? I think his historical grounding for those roles is preposterous. And even if I value him only for that, I value him very greatly. But as for the John Gray thing, I see the value in the underpinnings of what hes saying, but the text is just so . Now lets look at what Bonnie Grays responsibilities are. And even if I value him only for that, I value him very greatly. John Gray: A little mystery, thats right. How do you know? My answer in those years was, Ive got a counseling practice, and Im married myself, and women almost all say the same things (laughs) about their husbands, and about themselves. There were themes that are very universal in almost every household. Del Monte Land Tranport Bus Company (DLTB) Victory Liner, Inc. Ferries Schedule. fisk heroes addon packs. She had two little children from a previous marriage, and in our first year of marriage we had a child together, so we had three daughters. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. You have to let it go and there are all of these processes to do that. PR.com (Allison Kugel): Your new book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, describes 100% the issues that I was having in my own relationship, and it has helped us quite a bit. But estrogen doesnt lower stress for women. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. 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